It is really important.

I recently became engaged to the most wonderful woman in the world.  She is so great.  And we have been talking about all the things that an engaged couple needs to talk about – including conversations about money.

And the more we talked about money and what we want to use our money for in our daily lives, the more I thought about how incredibly important it is.  Money leads to decisions.  Decisions show what is important to you.  What is important to you is how you will live your life.

I am so glad that Nikki and I are on the same page.  You could even say that we are income-patible.

But then that got me to thinking more about this concept of “income-patible”.

How can we become income-patible with our beliefs and how we live?

How can we become income-patible with our commitment to Christ and what we do with our daily life?

Are you income-patible?

I am talking about upselling.

Upselling.  When someone working in retail, food, service, or any other industry tries to get you to buy something a little bigger and more expensive.  Sometimes it is just as simple as a waiter or waitress asking if you want dessert.  Other times it is a newer model of a car instead of the one that you are looking at.

Why does this bother me so much?  What makes me uneasy about it?

I think that it bothers me because the very nature of upselling is the opposite of customer service.  The goal of upselling is essentially completely selfish.  Upselling does not add value to the customer.  It is not giving them a better product.  It is not giving them a better price.  In most cases, it is not even giving them something that they want.  The goal of upselling is to try to get the customer to buy more of something or something bigger and more expensive in order to bring more profits in to the business.  It is business-focused.  It is employee-focused.  It is not customer-focused.

That is my issue with upselling.

Give me a person who listens to me and actually cares about what I want and need – and that person will get my business every time.  They don’t need to upsell because I will give them my business all the time.

Just some thoughts…

Normally, measurements are based on the easiest and quickest elements.  For example, a food bank that serves people living in poverty will measure how much food they give away, how many people they serve, and things like that.  An organization that works with sponsoring children will measure how many kids they sponsor and easy stats like that.  Churches measure how many people they have in their Sunday Schools and worship services.

But is this the best way to measure things?

I think there might be a better way.

And it all has to deal with a simple principle: only measure primary goals.

Primary goals is the simple mission of your organization.  What is the one thing you are trying to do?  What is your end goal?  What is your overall and over-arching mission?  Many organizations need to take the time to figure this out first.  Primary goals are not the secondary things or the results.  Primary goals are the heart of what you are trying to do.  For example, a food bank is not trying to give people food.  That is not a primary goal; that is a secondary goal.  Their primary goal is to have people not suffer from hunger anymore – and giving people food is just part of that.  A child sponsorship organization is not trying to sponsor children.  They are trying to enable children to grow into successful adults who have the opportunity to thrive.  A church is not trying to just get people in Sunday School or in their worship services.  Their primary goal is to develop deep Christians who are committed to pursuing and expanding the Kingdom of God.

So then certain shallow measurements do not do justice to the primary goals.  Is measuring how much food you give away going to reveal how many people are not suffering from hunger anymore?  Nope.  Once a group has identified their primary goal, now they need to shift their measurements to correspond with their primary goal.

Measure primary goals.

Then you will know how you are really doing.

Here we go!

That is what your leadership should be all about.  The present and the future.  Things that impact right now and things that impact the future.  Not just one.  And not just the other.  It should be both.  It can  be both.

Currently, I am working at a University.  I love my job because I get to work with student leaders and help them develop their leadership skills while they prepare and facilitate events for the campus.  Each week, I get to do a leadership training with some of my student leaders.  My goal is to give them some great leadership tips that will both help them do their jobs today as it relates to the campus and help them learn something and expand their leadership capacity for the future.

Today and Tomorrow.

That needs to be the vision for you as a teacher and as a learner.  Messages should impact people for their daily work today and for their future capacity.

Leadership is a Today and Tomorrow thing.

Are you working on both?

I mean, leaders really listen.

I think that I knew this, but I did not fully internalize how important this was until recently.  The other day I was speaking with someone about an interaction they had with a top-level leader.  This particular person was so frustrated by the fact that he felt like he had not been listened to at all.  He felt like the top-level leader was just going through the motions of “giving someone the opportunity to have their voice heard” but they never really listened.  And that one interaction completely changed the outlook and relationship from this person to the top-level leader.

Even if someone has amazing leadership abilities in every other area – their lack of listening is going to hamper everything else they do.  It hurts credibility.  It hurts authenticity.  It hurts relationships.  It hurts absolutely everything.

Leaders listen.  Leaders listen so that others feel important.  Leaders listen so that they can help create new leaders to come after them.  Leaders listen because good ideas can come from anywhere.  Leaders listen because it is respectful, appropriate, and kind.

You might be an incredible leader at everything.

But do you listen?

I am fascinated by the concept that incredible and impactful people started with nothing.  Their story started with nothing.  They all started at the same spot – the very bottom and with no story.  Each person was a baby who needed someone else to take care of them.  And then they were a kid and then a teen, and then they started doing things.  For some famous and historic people, it took them many years to make an impact.

But no matter where they ended up and all the incredible things that they did and the incredible story that they lived – they all started in the same spot.  They all started from nothing.

The most famous people in human history and in recent history – Steve Jobs, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, etc. – all started as no story.  They started with nothing.  They had to create everything.  They had to make their story.  They had to work hard and take risks and rally people and inspire hearts to make the impact that led to their historic story.

But knowing this leads me to realize two things:

First, if they all started from nothing and now have lived an incredible and impactful story – then that means that anyone can do it.  You don’t have to come from royalty or whatever.  Anyone can go from nothing to historic.

Second….So how did they go from no story to an incredible story?

That’s the question that I am going to explore.

Put simply: With anything you do (or try to get others to do), you have to start with the foundation.

The Foundation has to be first.  You need to always begin at the lowest and most central layer.  For example, if it is incarnational ministry you are talking about and trying to motivate people to do it.  You are attempting to inspire Average Middle Class Joe and Jane to step out in faith and change their life and lifestyle to live in solidarity among the poor in their community because this is a great way to do ministry and live life.  If you are trying to do this, then you can’t start with explaining to them that they should do this “because rich people don’t know enough poor people. They don’t want money, they want friends”.  You can’t start there.  You have to lay the foundation first.

There are many different layers to this type of discussion.  And you have to peel back all of the layers until you can get to the foundation.  Then it will make sense for people.  Here’s what it looks like with this situation.

1. I have dedicated my life to the Christian faith.
2. The faith of a Christian has everything to do with Jesus Christ.
3. Jesus is the best example we have of how to live a fulfilled Kingdom life.
4. Jesus provides the way for us to truly live a fulfilled life and the best ministry.
5. Jesus lived an incarnational life of compassion WITH and FOR the poor.
6. Jesus shows that being with the poor is better than simply giving them things.
7. Too often in today’s society, we believe that giving people things is compassion.
8. Rich people don’t know enough poor people. They want friends, not money.

That’s how you do it.  Once you have established the foundation, then you can build on it.  You can confirm each step until you have finally reached where you want to be.  So if I am trying to talk to someone about living incarnationally among the poor, I am going to start by talking about their faith.  Then I am going to discuss Jesus.  Then from there, we can start to converse about the life of Jesus and how that impacts our lives today.  As you build upon the foundation, there is better understanding and buy-in.  It makes more sense.

So if you want to be inspirational, clear, and relevant – start with the foundation.

Then build from there.

…but, really, foundation first.

So let’s start this semester with looking at the big picture of why you are here, what we are doing, and why we are doing it.  But this won’t be a normal “why” speech that I have been harping on you guys for this year.  Instead, I want us to look at an over-arching view of leadership in your own lives.  For this semester, each Wednesday night I am going to do a new thing called “A Fact and a Question”.  Tonight – in the midst of a difficult second semester that needs a lot of determination and effort to push through the obstacles – we are going to zoom out and look at a BIGGER WHY for your leadership.

Fact: The world needs leaders.  This is a simple and probably obvious statement, but it is no less true.  The world needs leaders.  If you read about the problems with the American economy, the desperate social issues happening in developing countries around the world, or the struggles with families in today’s culture – all of the answers and solutions point toward leadership.  The world needs leaders.  For our society in America and in the global community to push forward and continue to progress and thrive – the world needs leaders.  Strong leaders.  Tough leaders.  Smart leaders.  Leaders who can get things done.  Leaders who can rally people.  Leaders who can inspire people.  Leaders who can do the right thing.  The world needs leaders.  Cities need leaders.  Communities need leaders.  And I believe that there are people in this room who feel a stirring in their heart when I say things like that.  You want to be one of those leaders – a leader who can carry on what other generations have worked toward.  A leader who can put people around them in a position to succeed and be fulfilled.  The world needs leaders – and you want to be one of them.

Question: What kind of leader will you be?  You are definitely currently a leader in your own right.  But what kind of leader will you be throughout your life?  What kind of leader will you be in 5 years, 10 years, 20 years?  The world needs leaders.  We are lost without leaders.  So what kind of leader will you be?

Well, you know where to find the answer for that, right?  It is plain as day.  The evidence for what kind of leader you will be one day when the world needs you is shown every single day right now.  You are currently practicing your leadership.  You are setting the habits and attitudes for your leadership.  First semester was a reflection of your leadership.  Second semester will be a reflection of your leadership.

So what kind of leader will you be?

One that slows down … or one that pushes through.
One that shrinks beneath obstacles… or one that creatively and courageously overcomes.
One that quits early… or one that carries on to the end
One that sits… or one that serves.

The world needs leaders…. What kind of leader will you be?

In my time living closer to those in poverty, I have learned a few things.  First, friendship is key.  It is not about ministry as much as it is just hanging out and caring for your friends.  It is much more friendship than ministry, much more personal than programs.  And it needs to be practical, too.  Theories and academics don’t have a lot of weight when juxtaposed with the realities of everyday life.  Practical friendship.  That is the best way to minister to those in poverty.  Practical, tangible friendship that cares.

And here are six principles that can help people get there (and things that I am trying to work on with my neighbors and friends).

Share daily life.  It needs to be an everyday thing.  Not once a week.

Hear their story.  Listen.  Listen.  Listen.  And when you hear their story, you begin to see the picture of their entire life and reality.  Then you can see where you can fit into that.

Food.  Everyone loves food.  If you want to connect, then plan a BBQ.  Or go grocery shopping.  Or something like that.

Find purpose.  Sometimes people just need something to do.  They need a mission.  They need a purpose.  Even if their capacity is limited, they still need a purpose.  Help those around you find their purpose.

Ask good questions.  It is not all about you.  It is about connecting with new friends.  So ask questions.  Find out about them.  Get them talking and sharing.  Then they can see how much you really care.

Find small victories.  Not everything is going to go perfectly now that you are in their lives.  Life is still going to be hard.  And many times, the big problems and issues will still remain.  But there needs to be room for small victories.  And there needs to be celebration.  You are their biggest fan.

So that is about it.  It isn’t easy, but it isn’t rocket science or Greek, either.  Just remember: It is all about friendship.  This isn’t a once-a-month volunteer job at the shelter.  This is real life.  This is everyday life.  And this is friendship – just caring for your friends.

And we all know how to do that.

Parking lots and parsonages.  I would not have thought that these two things would never have much of an impact on my faith or ministry.  And yet the meanings behind them are powerful and important.  Here’s what I mean.

Churches used to always have a parsonage attached to them or in a very nearby property.  The pastor would live right there in the parsonage, and then when she or he left the next pastor would come and live in the parsonage.  Was this a perfect system?  No.  Pastors could not build equity in a house because the parsonage did not belong to them.  They were often too close to the church and many church congregations would abuse the fact that the pastors were always right next door.  Pastors could feel burnt out because of the proximity.  And I am sure there are more downsides, too.  I completely understand that.

But the pro’s might outweigh the con’s for the parsonage.  The beauty of the parsonage is that the pastor and leader of the church lived right in the community where the church served.  She was in tune with the community and the neighbors.  She was a part of the neighborhood.  The church was an active member of the community economy, development, and well-being.  It represented the neighborhood, and people viewed the pastor as a community leader for that area.

Once pastors began moving out to the suburbs and churches began doing away with the parsonages – all that changed.  Now instead of parsonages we have parking lots.  People don’t want to church that much anymore because they do not live close to church.  Instead, they drive in from all areas and park in the nice large parking lot (which possibly had to tear down houses or green space to make it possible).  There is less local neighborhood investment.  There is less local community leadership.  The church, the pastor, and subsequently the commuter-congregation do not have as much stake in the health, vitality, development, and well-being of the local community.

Parking lots and parsonages.

Who would have thought they would be so important?

…well, I think that I do now. But I need to keep thinking and praying and learning about it, too.